An archive of the writings of Assanova
Originally posted on: Jul 14, 2011.
A big reason why most attractive men aren’t getting women is because they keep applying the right solutions to the wrong problems. Almost everything in the seduction community is catered towards unattractive men. And this is exactly why a lot of the stuff that you read simply won’t work for you if you’re an attractive guy.
I’ll give you a little bit of my history before we continue. In middle school and high school, I never really had a problem with women. I was able to date the women that I wanted to. However, during my first year of college, I couldn’t get a new lay to save my life. And then after that first year, I started getting laid like crazy. What do you think accounted for such a big dip, and then rise in my success with women? I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t a game issue.
The problem was that during my first year of college, I changed my tactics with women for the worst. I started quickly asking for phone numbers, and when I got absolutely nowhere, I figured that it was an attraction or game thing. In turn, I kept trying to make myself more attractive by applying more game. In the end, trying to make myself more attractive ended up getting me absolutely nowhere with women.
Why was that? Because I was applying the right solution to the wrong problem. You see, I was already attractive. I kept trying to fix a problem that didn’t exist, and that’s what most attractive men who learn game are doing. They are trying to fix a problem that doesn’t exist. They figure that their lack of success with women must be an attraction thing, so they keep trying to make themselves come off as more attractive, almost always blaming broken game when they don’t succeed.
If game wasn’t and isn’t the right solution, then what is? For me, and most attractive men, the issue is rapport. When I went from trying to use game, trying to make myself more attractive, and stopped quickly asking for phone numbers, and instead, started working on my hospitality, making a lot of friends, and taking my time with women, my life with women literally changed over night. The reason why I was not seeing success with women wasn’t because of game or attractiveness, it was simply because women didn’t know me well enough.
That is why playing the numbers game, going to overcrowded nightclubs, and focusing on game and attraction is a bad idea for men that are already attractive. Playing the numbers game will cause you to leave women before they know you well enough to go out or have sex with you. Going to overcrowded nightclubs will cause your interactions to be cut short and not allow you enough time to make women comfortable with you. Focusing on attraction will have no effect on your end results. And focusing on game will only make you stick your foot in your mouth sooner or later.
As an attractive guy, you don’t need game and you don’t need to make yourself anymore attractive. What you need to do is build rapport and focus on making women comfortable with you. Going to overcrowded nightclubs isn’t helping your cause. Playing the numbers game isn’t helping your cause. And focusing on game isn’t helping your cause. As an attractive guy, the problem isn’t your attractiveness or your game. The proper solution to your problem is creating a good rapport and making women more comfortable around you. Don’t try to fix something that isn’t broken.