An archive of the writings of Assanova
Originally posted on: Jul 12, 2011.
If you’re a guy experiencing difficulties with women, then you may be wondering why the stuff you read doesn’t seem to be working for you. You thought that game was suppose to work, but it is obvious that it isn’t doing much for you. As some have already said, game just seems like a glorified numbers game, and the results that you get don’t seem like the result of game, but rather, a result of simply approaching more women.
If game really isn’t going to do much for you, is there something outside of looks, money, and confidence that will? Yes, and it has a lot to do with your personality. Most will make the mistake of saying that game and personality are one in the same, however, they are not. When you think about game, it’s more of “do this, do that, get x result”. It’s very mathematical by nature. When we look at personality, it’s more broad, not very mathematical, and it makes up who you are as a person.
I’ve mentioned what my first year of college was like. I couldn’t get laid, let alone a date. Why? Because every time I would approach a girl, I had the mindset of “first I’m going to do this, then I’m going to do that”. That made me come off as very disingenuous, and it just placed me in a position where I was thinking too much and coming off as unnatural. I was just too preoccupied with the thoughts in my head.
The following summer, I told myself that I was going to commit to one thing: simply becoming an outgoing guy. Game wasn’t working for me, so I committed to my personality. And that following year? I slept with more women than I could possibly handle. I came off as more natural, and there was no line between who I was as a person, and who I was when I was trying to pick-up women. I got more women because I committed to interacting with more people, being more social, and having a good time more often.
Moral of the story is that personality is what turned around my situation with women, not game. Commit to being more outgoing, don’t commit to a DHV story about how you’re outgoing. Commit to being more confident, don’t commit to saying something that makes you sound more confident. Commit to being more sexual, don’t commit to saying or doing something sexual after a certain time period. Personality is who you are as a person. Game is what you try to convey. Women are attracted to who you are, and not to what you try to convey.