An archive of the writings of Assanova
Originally posted on: Aug 23, 2011.
Anyone that has been keeping up on me knows that I am one of the few guys that will tell you to focus heavily on your appearances. The naive guy thinks that it’s just because of the obvious: women are attracted to hot guys. Although it isn’t wrong, there is a lot more to it that such men just don’t see.
What exactly am I trying to get at? When women perceive a guy as being attractive, and he gets constant reinforcement from women that he is attractive, his whole set of behaviors change. Not only is he physically attractive, but usually, the set of behaviors that he naturally acquires as a result of being attractive are the same set of behaviors that many women find attractive.
What kind of behaviors? I’ll use a few examples from my personal life. I’m more willing to ignore a girl’s phone call. I’m more willing to flirt with girls. I’m more willing to make and hold eye contact with women. I’m more willing to play head games with girls. And I’m more willing to walk away from a girl right as she is talking to me. I’m more willing to do things that attract attention to me. Anyhow, I’m sure you get it.
Where does this leave unattractive to average-looking men? It leaves them in turmoil. Not only are they physically unattractive, but their behaviors stay unattractive because they don’t get any positive reinforcement from women. If they received positive reinforcement that they are attractive, not only would they be more willing to behave the way that attractive guys behave, but they would acquire those traits naturally, not giving it a second thought, and they would have no use for game.
If you are a guy that has some kind of potential to be physically attractive, then I would say that should be your main focus. Once you get the looks, you get the positive reinforcement from women. And once you get the positive reinforcement from women, everything else will just fall into place. Not only should you develop your appearances because of what looks will do for you with maintaining a woman’s initial attention, but you should develop your looks so that you can use positive reinforcement from women to acquire naturally attractive behaviors that only attractive guys have.